Life Update List Thing.

Here are some things that have been happening in the regular life of Laurie. (Hi, mom and dad!)

1. As you might have noticed, I’ve been fuelling the blog with mini reviews of books I recently read, but I’ll have to start writing reviews for my not-so-recent reads if I’m going to keep this up. (Spoiler alert: I’m not going to keep this up. Five reviews a week is far beyond my blogging capabilities. I’m trying to write a novel, you know.)

A few of the second-hand books I've rescued from Amazon. Will review them. One day.

A few of the second-hand books I’ve rescued from Amazon. Will review… Once I’ve read them…

2. I’m trying to write a novel, you know. Yep, still that same one. I’ve moved on from draft 1.5 (never completed) to draft 2, which I plan to finish, even if it’s shit, which it will be, before moving on to draft 3. I keep making big, conceptual changes and then scrapping huge swathes of text. It’s painful. I still have a long (loooooong) way to go, but at least I’m feeling fairly confident that the major changes are good ones and I’m better off having made them.

3. I recently finished 3+ months of a temp job at a literary agency, during which time I interacted with several very impressive authors and agents. I learned a lot about how agencies work, and my “career”, my writing and my writerly plans for the future have all been shaped by these experiences. I am now freelancing, which involves far less money, far more need for rigorous self-control and far greater potential for emotional slumpage, but I am determined to keep my chin up. Having developed a troubling case of constant hip pain (x-rays were “not abnormal”, but I’m being referred to a physiotherapist), it’s been convenient not having to sit on an office chair all day, because that’s when it hurts the most. At home, I’m able to get up and move around every few minutes, which helps. Freelancing also provides a great opportunity for novel-writing and wedding-planning, which leads me to my next point…

4. I’m having a wedding! Never mind the fact that I’ve actually been married since March… *ahem* Circumstances at the time didn’t allow for much in the way of celebrations, but we’ll be making up for it in March next year, and then I’ll finally change my Facebook relationship status from “engaged” to “married”. Planning has begun. It’s not going to be traditional or super formal, but I’m really looking forward to it. Having so many friends and family members in one place at one time is guaranteed to cause an explosion of expatriate sentimentality.

5. More good news: I got my residence card! Deportation is now a distant memory for this legal resident. Water under the bridge.

6. Having received my residence card and my passport back from the Home Office, Luc and I were able to travel on a plane together for the first time… and it was a plane with propellors! We went to Guernsey, where we stayed with my uncle and got to see my grandfather, who was visiting him for a few weeks. It was a fantastic long weekend that kind of needs its own post rather than a numbered point in a silly list. Maybe I’ll write one. No promises.

One of many striking views along Guernsey's southern coast.

One of many striking views along Guernsey’s southern coast.

7. I attended a David Mitchell reader event, which included a signed copy of his latest book, ‘The Bone Clocks’, and the privilege of listening to the man himself talk about his work. It was incredibly inspiring. I sat on the tube home feeling both utterly inadequate as a writer and completely in awe of this person whose books I love so much. He was funny and charming and brilliant and yet totally normal and humble and self-effacing at the same time. The book, so far, is wonderful. Mini review to come. 😉

Beautiful, precious... and it was signed!

So pretty!

8. I am unfairly privileged enough to have gained two significant material items that have been pretty life-changing. The first is this little Macbook Air that I’m currently typing on. It has allowed me to take my work out of the house, thereby boosting my productivity and combatting cabin fever and potential depression. I’ve never been a rabid fan of Apple products, but the battery life and the build quality are very impressive indeed. I made sure to get the one with the most limited hard-drive space and not enough power for gaming so that distractions are kept to a minimum by necessity. I’ve set it up with my writing software and my novel lives on here now. I love this gadget.

Shiny!

Shiny! Finished off with the best photo I ever took of a squirrel.

9. The second item, which is really two items, is a pair of quality running shoes. It’s ridiculous that I have these, considering I’m barely a runner, but I’ve decided that they’re not just for running. I’m wearing them right now, even though I’m in the library. They are a lurid shade of pink with garish green accents and they are the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever worn. I didn’t even know that my feet could feel this way. Not only have they been motivating me to get off my sad, lazy ass and run a little bit, they have also become my go-to footwear choice for any situation in which I can get away with lurid pink shoes with garish green accents… and, given my lack of opportunity or desire for “dressing up”, this is most of the time.

Awww yeah!

Awww yeah!

10. I have been going to weekly cognitive behavioural group therapy. Yeah… I wasn’t sure if I’d include this because it’s a bit awkward, but it shouldn’t be, as they keep telling us! I know that mental health taboo is bullshit, but it’s so difficult not to feel weird about admitting to these things. Anyway. I’m fine at the moment, but I was feeling quite shitty when I got myself signed up for the programme. I figured I’d see it through even though I feel ok now, because last year was bad and I don’t want to go there again. I’m hoping this will give me the tools I need to get through future crappy patches. I’m just under halfway through the course, and so far, so good. It’s not some big soppy tell-all situation like in the movies; it’s basically a class, with a whiteboard and terminology and hand-outs and homework that you don’t get rated on because nobody else ever sees it. It’s helpful to have stuff rationalised and normalised so that it’s easier to dismantle and beat into submission. Big thanks to the NHS for providing me with this service, free of charge.

11. The main cause of my “crappy patches” is, unsurprisingly, being far away from family and friends. I’m not good at making new friends and I have almost no social life to speak of in London. It gets me down sometimes, especially when compared to the relative liveliness of my family and social life in Cape Town. That said, the brilliant thing about living in a city that everyone wants to see is that the people you miss are quite likely to wind up here on a holiday one day! Two friends recently came to London and it was so nice to see familiar friendly faces I haven’t seen in months.

A visiting Jess, caught in a sudden downpour. London never lets you down!

A visiting Jess, caught in a sudden downpour. London never lets you down!

And that’s my life update list! Of course there are other things, but I’m tired now. All the images are from my instagram, which you should check out, particularly if you enjoy looking at pictures of books and food and attractive trees. Yep. Back to the reviews.

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Mini Review: ‘The Inheritance of Loss’, by Kiran Desai

TheInheritanceOfLoss

I mentioned in a previous review that some books make me cry. This was one of them. I was on the tube when I read the last line, felt the heat rushing into my face and had to stare unblinkingly at an advertisement for insurance or toothpaste or a dating website while I silently struggled to compose myself. It’s is a tragic book, bristling with anger and injustice; it’s profound, beautiful, achingly sad, but also very funny, at times. I’ll never forget the line, ‘No fruit dies so vile and offensive a death as the banana.’ Just brilliant. I tend to rate books based on beauty and feelings and I often fail to recognise structural issues or plot holes unless I’m reading with the intention of finding them. Because of this, criticism sometimes makes me think, ‘Well, yes, that wasn’t perfect, I suppose, but does it matter?’ It doesn’t work this way when I have my editor hat on, of course, but I wasn’t wearing that hat when I read this book; I just let myself get lost in it, and I think it’s very, very good — a deserving winner of the Man Booker prize. That’s my humble opinion.

Verdict: Read it, absolutely.

Mini Review: ‘MaddAddam’, by Margaret Atwood

MaddAddam
 
It pains me to say it, but I didn’t enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed the other two in the series (‘Oryx and Crake’ and ‘The Year of the Flood’). There was plenty of Atwood’s characteristic brilliance, but the book as a whole seemed to depend too much on the other two; it was set on filling in gaps rather than exploring new ground, and many of the characters were little more than names if you didn’t remember them from before. Indeed, part of the problem might have been the time that passed between my readings. I should’ve re-read the first two in anticipation of the third one, but I didn’t. The difficulty with being Margaret Atwood is that your books are always going to be compared to other books by Margaret Atwood, which is an impossible standard to meet over and over again… and criticism might seem unfair when you consider that the book is still better than the majority of books out there. All that aside, Zeb’s tale was highly entertaining and the Crakers were, are and always will be one of my favourite speculative creations. Blackbeard (and his relationship with Toby) holds the book together.
 
Verdict: I’d never advise against reading Atwood! Read the first two, then read this one, then let me know what you think.

 

Mini Review: ‘Vurt’, by Jeff Noon

Vurt

This book is a psychedelic roller coaster of beautiful and hideous magic. Set in a gritty, mad and fucked-up imagining of Manchester, people (which is a complex term, given the presence of humanoid dogs, shadow folk, robots and various hybrids) embark upon shared virtual reality drug trips induced by tickling the back of the throat with colour-coded feathers. These are more than just trips though; people can get lost in the Vurt, and this is what has happened to Scribble’s sister/lover Desdemona. Now he wants to go back into a rare and dangerous Vurt to save her. There’s incest, bestiality, a bit of extremely wild driving under the influence, a couple who are fused to each other by their dreadlocks,  a muttering and tentacled alien blob creature that is practically made out of hallucinogenic drugs… If offered one of the feathers, I’m not sure if I’d flush it immediately down the loo while wearing rubber gloves and a face mask, or if I’d put it directly into my mouth. I guess it would depend on the colour. I’d like to think I’m wise enough to avoid the yellow ones, and yet… I don’t want to know, but I do!

Verdict: Why are you not already reading this?

Mini Review: ‘The Casual Vacancy’, by J.K. Rowling

TheCasualVacancy
 
It took a while for me to get used to the idea of Ms Rowling dropping ‘fucks’ and ‘cunts’ into her writing, but I loved this book. She is so good at plotting and so brilliant with characterisation that I can’t fault her, and it’s not just because I was (and still am) a massive Harry Potter fan. The Casual Vacancy was long and tragic, tackling important social issues like poverty, domestic abuse, rape, drug addiction, self-harm, class prejudice and racism, to name but a few. Despite the seriousness of the subject matter, it was infused with plenty of Rowling’s wry observational humour; my favourite. I enjoy comic tragedies, and this is a particularly good one.
 
Verdict: Definitely read it, if you haven’t already. I was slow to pick it up, but I’m glad I got there eventually.

Mini Review: ‘A Girl is a Half-Formed Thing’, by Eimear McBride

AGirlIsAHalfFormedThing
 
The fragmented stream-of-consciousness writing was difficult to get used to and difficult to enjoy, but it worked, somehow, with this young woman’s dark and terrible tale. I flipped a few times from thinking that it was the most pretentious thing I’d ever read to being absolutely awed by the raw, emotional battering of it. It was fascinating how the scrambled syntax and gaps and repetitions still managed to place clear scenes into my mind’s eye, but they were experienced so differently. The sickly horror of being tangled up in her thoughts and reactions, of being her, but unable to change anything, was traumatic. By the end, I felt as shattered as the prose.
 
Verdict: I’d say read it because there is nothing else like it, but don’t expect it to be easy and do expect to be deeply upset by it.

Mini Review: ‘The Fault in Our Stars’, by John Green

TheFaultInOurStars

 I lost two grandparents, neither of whom were particularly old, to cancer in the last 18 months and, like everyone, I’m pretty scared of the disease. I thought this book would aggravate my problematically frequent and fearful musings on the topic, but it didn’t. There was a sense of normalisation, inevitability, randomness… I can’t explain it fully without having to abandon the ‘mini’ in my review, but basically I felt less scared of cancer after reading this. If it happens, it happens, and I’ll worry about it then, because what else can you do, actually? You can eat right, try to be healthy, but ultimately you can’t absolutely rule out the possibility of it happening to you or someone you love, even if they’re young. I guess that’s what I got out of reading this; some reinforcement for my more logical cancer thoughts. I mostly enjoyed the book, but it didn’t (couldn’t) live up to the expectations brewed by the hype and it didn’t make me cry, even though many books do and, given the subject matter, I assumed this would be one of them.

Verdict: Worth reading, not for the snarky (and sometimes unconvincing) teenage banter, but for the way that the themes of dying and death are handled. It’s modern, it’s interesting and it’s bittersweet. No, I have not seen the movie.

Mini Review: ‘The Dark Road’, by Ma Jian

TheDarkRoad

POSSIBLE SPOILERS.

This book was so horrifying that, once I reached the middle, I couldn’t put it down. I needed to know how it would end and, more importantly, I just needed it to end. The squalour, the violence, the unbelievable cruelty and rape endured by Meili and the injustice of the whole situation made me feel slightly ill and very angry. The final scene was brutally, viscerally awful and, despite how bizarre and unexpected it was, it felt, in retrospect, inevitable.

Verdict: Read it if you have a high tolerance for weird and disturbing translation fiction. Otherwise, don’t.

My 3-Month Deportation Trip

Unlike my blog, I have been very much alive these past few months. I’m back in London after staying with my family in Cape Town for a quarter of a year. If I had been told when I was deported that I wouldn’t be back for such a long time, I’d probably have had a bit of a tantrum, but, as it turns out,  I really enjoyed my deportation trip. When I wasn’t working or doing admin, I got to spend time with people I’ve missed terribly and do many things that mean so much more to me now than they did before I emigrated. There were a few major life events, but I won’t go into those here. What I will go into is a lazy list of things I enjoyed during my time in Cape Town.

1. MOUNTAINS

Table Mountain and the city.

Table Mountain + the city.

2. FORESTS

Newlands Forest.

Newlands Forest.

3. BEACHES

DSCN3619edit

Noordhoek Beach + family.

4. SKIES

Kommetjie Road, sunset.

Kommetjie Road, sunset.

5. CAVES

Boomslang Cave + brother.

Boomslang Cave  exit/entrance + brother.

6. BOTANICAL GARDENS

Kirstenbosch Gardens.

Kirstenbosch Gardens.

7.  AMAZING VIEWS FROM HIKES WALKS AND HIKES

Fish Hoek, twilight, from the trail to Elsie's Peak.

Fish Hoek, twilight, from the trail to Elsie’s Peak.

8. PICNICS

9. HOME-COOKED MEALS

10. 2-FOR-1 BURGER NIGHTS AND ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT PIZZA NIGHT WITH OLD FRIENDS

11. CAKE AND TEA WITH FRIENDS, DINNER AND WINE WITH FRIENDS, PIZZA AND COCKTAILS WITH FRIENDS, SNACKS AND FIZZY DRINKS WITH FRIENDS

12. BRAAIS

13. SUSHI, MORE THAN ONCE

14. THE BEST FISH AND CHIPS IN THE WORLD (HAKE AND CHIPS FROM FISH HOEK FISHERIES, IF YOU MUST KNOW)

15. GOOD WINE AND DELICIOUS FOOD AT A WINE FARM WITH MY AUNT, MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER

16. MORE TEA THAN I CAN HANDLE (JUST KIDDING, I CAN HANDLE ALL THE TEA)

17. CATCHING-UP WITH WITH PEOPLE AT RAFIKI’S, BANANA JAM CAFE, THE BRASS BELL, KALK BAY, FISH HOEK BEACH, VARIOUS MALLS, MY FAMILY’S HOME AND ELSEWHERE

18. MAJOR NOSTALGIA WHILE CHOOSING GEMSTONES AT THE SCRATCH PATCH WITH AN OLD FRIEND

19. A MAGIC SHOW

20. OTHER RANDOM EXCURSIONS TO PLACES THAT ARE LOVELY WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE AWESOME

21. FAMILY OUTINGS AND SHENANIGANS, ONCE INVOLVING TEQUILA

22. WATCHING MOVIES WITH MY MOM + POPCORN

23. QUALITY TIME WITH MY CAT

24. BOARD GAMES, CARD GAMES AND OTHER GAMES, SOMETIMES WITH OLD FRIENDS, SOMETIMES WITH NEW FRIENDS AND SOMETIMES WITH FAMILY

25. MOVIES AND RESTAURANTS AND A FERRIS WHEEL AND VARIOUS HAPPY MEMORIES WITH MY PARTNER IN TOTALLY LEGAL ACTIVITIES

26. SCENIC DRIVES

27. PERFECT WEATHER

28. SUNSHINE (THE LATE MARCH/APRIL GENTLE VARIETY, NOT THE FEBRUARY INFERNO)

29. LOTS OF SPACE

30. LOVE AND HAPPINESS (CHEEEESE)

I wanted to write a pointlessly in-depth post about my feelings, but I probably won’t. I could sum it up by saying that I feel overdue for a long and intense cry, but everything is good and I’m not sure what to cry about, so I haven’t done it yet. Just too many feelings, I reckon. TOO MANY FEELINGS. Thank you to everyone who  made these last few months so lovely and memorable. Yes, even you, UK Home Office. None of it would’ve happened without your bullshit, so thanks for that.

Home.

I’m home. I’ve been home for a while. I still haven’t figured out exactly what to say about it apart from the obvious.

It’s good to be back with my family. It’s good to see old friends. I’m happy to be reunited with my cat. I don’t know where I belong. I miss Luc. I miss London. I miss the past because it’s not the same as the present even though the settings and most of the characters are the same. I’m uncertain about the present. I’m uncertain about the future. I’m excited about the future…

I thought it would be weird, and it is weird, it’s just a slightly different type and intensity of weird to what I had anticipated. I have a big, tangled mess of complicated (and boring) feelings that I don’t feel like picking apart for blog purposes, so I’ll just post a picture instead.

This is me on top of Elsie’s Peak last week, looking down over my home town of Fish Hoek. The photo was taken by my mom.

Home.

Home.