Writing.

I am what I write and if I write something pathetic… I can’t step away from it. Once you’ve read it, it’s too late. You’ve seen me.

The fear of being seen has to be overcome one way or another. This blog is one of many steps being taken towards this goal. I can’t always be clever, witty, original… but I can always whittle away at things with words in the hope of creating, rather than finding, myself.

Advertisements

8 thoughts on “Writing.

    • Definitely not just you. I agree with that completely. I think the idea of being dragged down to the bottom is a good way of describing it. That’s how it feels!

    • Aw, thank you Tali! I wanted to start blogging on the site you were using (you inspired me!), but for some reason it just refused to load for me most of the time, so I’m giving wordpress a try. So far so good! I hope I can keep it up… I’m usually pretty bad at that. 😉

  1. WordPress is great for measuring hits and stuff, I use it for my journ expert blog thing.

    This resonated with me so clearly: “I am what I write and if I write something pathetic… I can’t step away from it. Once you’ve read it, it’s too late. You’ve seen me.”

    And judged me. My biggest fear is that those who write better than me will look down upon my work and assume that I just write because it’s fun, that I’m just trying my hand at it…

    With other things – knitting, driving, speaking a language – practice automatically makes you good at it. People look at you and can say “wow that person knows what they’re doing.” With writing it’s not that easy… there’s too much in the way. Yes, practice makes you better. But there is no guarantee that others will see the work you’ve put in, and that’s what terrifies me.

    At least you are brave enough to put your writing under the gaze of academics. I doubt I could ever do that. I find when I do write things for other people I intentionally hold myself back so that if they say it isn’t good, I know I can say to myself “I can do better.”

    One day I hope to defeat that demon… for now I make the words work for me and patch other people’s words together with proper grammar. They are constrained by the laws of “good enough” and “objectivity.”

    But one day… hopefully… they’ll be able to float free.

    Maybe.

    • “My biggest fear is that those who write better than me will look down upon my work and assume that I just write because it’s fun, that I’m just trying my hand at it…” I can totally relate to that. It’s terrifying. 😦 Getting a bad mark for a piece of academic work is not personal. At least not for me. I could do more research, etc etc and maybe do better. But getting criticised about your creative work is like being personally insulted. It’s like YOU are being criticised, and not your work. And that’s what I’m trying to get used to! I’ve been avoiding this for years and now I’m ready to get over myself and give it my best shot!

      You will defeat the demon! There is no doubt about that.

      Thanks for these comments. Very much appreciated!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s